By Connie Shipman Newsome, Registrar, Norman Adrian Wiggins School of Law
Higher education administrators are some of the most selfless people one has the pleasure to ever meet. Although consistent selflessness has both rewards and challenges, self-care is necessary to maintain balance. Why might self-care, under the guise of beneficial selfishness, be empowering amid leading, engaging, and driving change? Whether you are in leadership, front desk customer service, or somewhere in between, finding ways to focus on your own happiness intentionally and consistently can only lead to genuine fulfillment. Come, let us explore the concept of beneficial selfishness.
Beneficial Selfishness Defined
While the concept we will discuss is not new, the term and thereby the definition, are new to me; I had not heard it prior to it coming to mind one day. With that, my recently coined definition is as follows: Beneficial selfishness is the concept of taking ownership of one’s well-being, to the benefit of self and with the goal of positive engagement with one’s inner and outer circles.
Realities of the Field
There is a plethora of studies that speak to the stressors faced by faculty within the higher education arena, risks to positive mental health, and practical and idealistic steps individuals and institutions can take to overcome some of the challenges. When it comes to administrators within the field of higher education, the word brevity comes to mind as opposed to breadth, as it regards research studies. Yet, the struggle is real, not perceived. Administrators (registrars, deans, provosts, advisors, financial aid officers, and etc.) have jobs that are characterized by constant deadlines, internal and external data collection and reporting requirements, accountability to students, faculty, staff, team members, senior administration, accrediting institutions, and the list goes on. Most administrators have multiple roles, especially if there is turnover and the institution is slow to backfill the position, if at all. Finally, some administrators are in toxic work environments and remain because of the mindset that it will get better or they will be the change that they want to see (very noble). Do you know what all the above spells? EXHAUSTION and eventual burnout.
Now that we have superficially provided an eye into just some of the challenges faced by higher ed administrators, let us turn the tide in this article and consider the topic at hand, beneficial selfishness, and why it is increasingly important.
Beneficial selfishness is about being a good steward of self:
Beneficial selfishness is important because it impacts how we show up each day and the moments within each day. Engaging the concept does not have to be long nor deep, it only needs to be impactful, leaving you feeling restored, a better version of yourself, every time. Recent examples of beneficial selfishness that people have shared:
Tuned out of email (and family) to watch the Beckham documentary, undisturbed
Put the cream in her coffee and savored the moment; now does it daily. Found that it makes her happy and does not add pounds
Put the phone down during the pedicure, closed his eyes during the massage portion, and fell asleep
Went fishing
Went walking and simply enjoyed the sunshine and nature
Spent time perusing old photo albums
Visited folks and reminisced about the good ole days
Visited a museum
Takeaway: These are simple but impactful moments of beneficial selfishness that allowed the individual to show up a better version of themselves when they returned to work the next day or after the weekend. Just a few examples of simple actions that are good for the soul.
Obviously, negatives exist that can be the antithesis of beneficial selfishness, which also impacts how we show up each day. Contrary to examples that enrich us, the following are some shared examples that drain us. Sneaky, sneaky. Read on:
Inherently negative people. Every encounter left the person drained or feeling frustrated/angry/unhappy. Remedy: Rise above the negative clamor. Walk away from/unfriend/have a frank conversation with those who leave you feeling drained
Social Media. Realized it caused anxiety. Took a break from social media. I will leave you to noodle on that on your own
Unnecessary tasks. Remedy: Delegated, ignored, or delayed action for tasks deemed unnecessary
Insufficient sleep. Constantly awoke tired and cranky. Remedy: Considered what prevented insufficient sleep and made appropriate changes
Daily news. Remedy: Curbed how much news he watched, for he realized it made him either anxious or sad
Beloveds, as the holidays rapidly approach and we are, in fact, encouraged to be more selfless than usual, I encourage you to show love, empathy, grace, and kindness to others and do not forget to show more of the same to yourself. You deserve it. Those within your world deserve it. Choose to engage in moments of beneficial selfishness, feel good about it, and adopt it as a lifestyle. The secret of our success, our happiness, is found (in part) in beneficial selfishness. If any recent “thing of the day” should become a movement, this is surely one of them. One vowel can change your life every day: Bitter or better? Determine who you will be today, each day. Do take good, diligent care.